Goodbye’s are difficult for me. As someone who tends to keep to themselves, I put a high value on the friendships, and the company I keep. In my time, I’ve seen countless people disappear from my life. Maybe I’ve gotten jaded because of that, but every goodbye is a reminder for me that this just might be final; for the last time.
I like to believe in second chances, but truthfully, just because I’m an Idealistic idiot doesn’t mean things always happens like that. Often the first chance is all we get. One chance to say goodbye, and one opportunity to share with the people in your life what they mean to you.
You see, everyone I’ve crossed paths with has had an effect on me. You bring out the best parts of myself. I don’t consider myself a negative person; yet the perception of my internal sight is constantly filled with dark thoughts, and empty feelings. It’s like looking at the night sky. Blackness as far as the eye can see. But when I look at everyone, that blackened vision is filled with stars.
It is as if each one of you is a sun. To me, other people’s characters shine bright. And between the space that separates us; the gravity given by my feelings for others draws out the better parts of me. The core of who I am driven towards the light. Light a moth drawn to the flame, I look to enkindle myself; to set myself ablaze. Molten lights like the sun, because with everything others have given to me, I yearn to be the best person I can. Maybe then by my own fundamental grace of being, each person might be a little more happy. As you all deserve to be; in exchange for the happiness I have received.
I’ve done a lot of thinking recently and if there is one lesson I carry forward from the last stage of my life; it’s that life goes on. Regardless what happens (like in my life, things seem to be coming to a dead stop for a radical change in my life’s direction). Yet for the rest of you, you won’t even register the change. People keep on business as usual, because they have to.
Some of the most unfortunate people are frozen. Stuck in time. Circumstances cast them adrift in a place with no hope, seemingly no help, and left with no desire to pick themselves up. Now I haven’t, at times, had an easy life. I don’t believe anyone has. But some few people I have spoken to have gone through struggles I couldn’t even imagine. They find themselves in such a dark place in their lives. Except life goes on, there are bills to be paid. Needed by this date.
Sometimes life gives out lemons so rotten that to make lemonade is to create an acidic type of cyanide. Even so; life goes on.
Life doesn’t care what happens. But we do. That’s our strength.
Maybe some of us care too much, or some don’t care enough. As humans we are charged with emotions so that we can reach out to another person and flash a bright spark of compassion in the dead of night. One look or one kind work and a connection is formed.
Like the connection between the earth and the sky during a thunderstorm. Two worlds resolve to come together through all that keeps them apart. Just as the lightning forms a bridge between two worlds, we as humans form brides between lives. And that connection isn’t always meant to last. Sometimes the first chance is all we get. Once the connection is gone, we walk away knowing that for one brief moment in time; we gave each other the Truth, a glimpse of the light so powerful it can in a flash turn night into day.
When I really reflect on it, that’s what matters the most in my life. Not a job, or money, or love. I am constantly seeking to be alone. My hermitage is almost complete, but like a moth to the flame, it’s the connections that matter most to me. Connections with each other. Many of you have different priorities; you’re after money, a good life, a goal to achieve… Whatever you’re looking for in your life, that’s your prerogative and I won’t try to change that.
What I do want to say is that you all should take pride in who you are. Take pride in yourself because I truly believe that we as humans have the tools and abilities at our disposal to impact a positive change in each others lives. And if you remain open, other people might just make a positive change in your life too.
Like a carpenter would; offer people the tools of hope and kindness so that even in the darkest of times, they have enough light to begin rebuilding their lives. A saying I carry close to me; “Help those you can, give hope to those you can’t.”
And when you say goodbye and go on your way you’ll find that by helping them, you’re the one that’s been changed. I know this, because I’m a better person not necessarily because I want to be, but because of the people who surround me.
Now when you say Goodbye, fate will determine if it will be for the last time. Remember your time together, however brief, has been magical. Once in a lifetime. Whether you see these people again or not, like lightning in a bottle carry their memories.
So that no matter where life brings you, you will always have just enough light that you can see.