I stay in my fortress. Half asleep, falsely imagining myself as living comfortably. Nowhere to be, no one else to see. Long since given up on the outside world, I stay in my room and never leave. At least until the weekend ends. Forcing me into another work week. The ending of my week like a book with a weak beginning. Given up before the ending can be seen. The book of the weekend barely started, and immediately thrown in the garbage. Whatever the plans for the weekend were, the book is now known as ‘dearly departed.’
Never leaving the safety of bed, stretched joints cracking tones sounding lethargic moans from wasted time. Refusing to do anything, it’s my decision. I own the time; if I remain in my comforter castle then that choice is mine. Why go out, why get up. I sit, and I lie.
This bed is a throne, in a room that is my castle. In here I am king. On top of the mattress, the size wide enough to hold me up. Stopping me from falling into nothing. My bed a faithful companion. If I’m the King, my bed according to the mattress store, is most certainly a Queen. We rule together. The only rule being don’t ever disturb me. The Queen, an ever faithful companion knowing the rules, sits with me silently.
The walls are my kingdom. the edges of my castle. Were I to look through the window, like looking over the battlements I could see over my walls. Were I to look through the window, the light would attack. A Catapult launching a massive yellow flaming ball. The light coming right for me to tear down it all. I don’t look out the window. This all is mine. No one else has power here, I refuse to leave it behind.
My dreams are my people. They worship their king. The things I am capable of, and could do, become told in the smoky common rooms within the taverns of the mind. Drunk on myself, my dreams like a sweetened wine, are tasted. Sweet suffusing the peoples, becoming intoxicated. Warping reality, dreaming for me.
Outside, I have no power. I must do what I am told. Society is boss, humanity is king and I am nothing but a fool, stuck playing my role. In this room I am an emperor, I have a kingdom that’s only for me.
Yet the power is nothing; false hope for false dreams
Locked away in this room, a Castle for one becomes overcrowded… and lonely.
The wait for the end of the weekend making me depressed, the weight of leadership as king keeping me depressed.